You know when you start having a dream, but you're half-awake. Every time you go back to the sleep, the same dream comes up like some weird series on television. That's what was happening to me this morning.
I dreamt I was at my ex's house. I was chasing her all around the living room. I was infatuated and intoxicated by her and her beauty. When I woke up, my first thought was, "What the hell was that all about?"
As I lay there in bed, half-awake, half-asleep, I started thinking about the intoxicating power of being infatuated with someone. When someone intoxicates you, it's like being drunk, and in so many ways, it's very dangerous. When you first meet someone special you become infatuated with, you don't see anything outside of them. All you feel is your primal desires of wanting to be with them.
You're listening, but you're not really hearing. All you're thinking about is how beautiful they are, how much you want them, and how much you want to hang out with them. It gets really dangerous because when you get that intoxicating feeling about someone, you miss so many things. Don't get me wrong — it's a natural feeling and we've had it since we were kids since our very first crush in Kindergarten and that guy you could never get over in fifth grade. It's how most relationships begin and it's a complicated feeling. You can't do anything to prevent the feeling of intoxication. It's a natural human reaction. But what we can do is control our response to it. So, here's what you do when you meet someone who's intoxicating and you start to become infatuated with them. Enjoy it because it's a beautiful feeling, but stay alert and ready.
1. In your early interactions with this person, write down all the things they say they want to do with you. Write down all the promises they make and over the next 30-60 days, see if the person actually follows through on what they say. It's so important because if someone follows through on what they say, that feeling of intoxication you have is validated. It shows they're serious in their intent, and you're a little safer surrendering to those feelings you're having.
2. The next thing you need to do is go a little deeper into yourself
Write down exactly how YOU want to feel in a relationship. This is so important. Write down what you want to feel emotionally, sexually, and intellectually. Then ask yourself, does this person make you feel what you need to, or are you just in an intoxicated trance? Do they listen to you the way you need? Do they love you the way you need? Do they connect with you as deeply as you want? Is the sex giving you what you need?
Remember that at the start of a relationship, your man will be on his best behavior. He’ll be doing his best to impress you, and it's only going to go downhill from there.
So the next time you're infatuated with someone, take a moment to get sober and have some clarity. Get as sober as you can, because that's the only way you can unhook yourself from the love drug that's hitting your system. When you crave something so badly, you can't have clarity.
My advice is always the same, and it's so important you write everything down and understand what it is you really want. That way when you meet this amazing man, you'll recognize him, and won't become seduced by the feelings of intoxication you have when you're first attracted to someone, regardless of whether they're suitable for you or not. The love drug can put you under a powerful spell, which limits your ability to think and reason properly. It can make you act recklessly, and out of control. The moment you start to sense those wonderful feelings rising up through your body, don't run from them and don't avoid them. Enjoy every sensation, but NEVER forget to take a step back, stay in control, and make sensible choices.